Category Archives: ancestors

Brainwashed

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:51 PM EDT

It’s a huge world out there. There are so many people who don’t know what they be talking about. Then, you have many who do know what they are talking about. There are so many cultures, lifestyles, beliefs, opinions and ways that people are raised.

When you come into your own is when you really discover what is important since it partly develops into what may define some of your character. Some need to evaluate many of the things that they value or consider a value to them. They need to know where their ideas originated from-whether they made the decision on their own or let someone else decide for them.

Do you live by or go along with something because that is truly the way you feel in your heart or because it is the way that most people do so you just accepted it as the way to go or as it is said “the way it is suppose to be?”

I myself actually have never allowed society or any individual to dictate how i should live my life no matter how negatively or positively they may have decided to view me. I cannot and will not let the opinions of others faze me while i continue to take my journey through this life. Nobody is going to determine how i should feel about things, what i believe in and don’t believe in, and what i should agree with and don’t agree with.

No one can tell me what i don’t want to hear because i am going to have the last word when it comes to my life since i am the one living it! Nobody knows me better than i know myself.

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with hearing another person out if you decide what they are saying is worth hearing. It makes no sense to be oblivious to the diversities in the world. However, you don’t have to listen to it. It’s just vital for you to be aware of it and that it is going on and going on with these people.There is plenty of shit going on in the world that is not too kosher as far as i am concerned and i refuse to let my mind be molded and corrupted with some of the things that this society considers appropriate and not appropriate.

Of course, i may not know everything but i know a hell of a lot and enough to know that the so-called generalized way of how our life “in order” should be lived is a big mess. Yes, it is indeed true that whatever life is to one is the way they should live it because nobody’s path is the same.

We all have our own minds and ways of behavior-thank goodness for that! What i am talking about is being consciously or subconsciously programmed by what is displayed by myths, stereotypes, the media and even small things in life that we are taught. I don’t accept something as a fact as to what is right or wrong simply because it is said that it is the way it’s suppose to be or because so many people feel and are in a particular mode. I am also a person and i do count and my ways and thoughts differ greatly than the majority.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/brainwashed/

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My Confessions

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Peace, Power, Purity, And Protection

Significance Of The Caul/A Caulbearer Who Cannot Be Defeated

January 28th, 2012

Everyone makes mistakes and indeed this was a big one! Everything in my post is the truth except for what I mentioned about God.

I wrote this post about fives years ago and now I can come out with the total truth that I could not say at the time. I don’t really feel that I did anything wrong. I don’t really believe that the only true protection comes from The God Of The Bible.

My actions did not cause me to be open for any attack because I don’t believe in or follow that God of the bible’s sick “will” especially that garbage about a man and a woman becoming one flesh. I will always be whole and complete and no one flesh with nobody.

I truly feel that God was responsible for allowing those sick witchcraft experiences because I never cared for him and belonged to him, and I thank my lucky stars because I don’t ever want to be one of his children.

I have true supervision and protection from my Ancestors and Orishas like I had all through out my life I just had to get reconnected and reacquainted since I was attacked by witchcraft at such an early age ( ever since I was seven ).

Even though I didn’t truly from my heart mean what I said in this post regarding “God” I really regret having done so because I would never intentionally want to give him any type of glory or justification whatsoever!

And I know damn well that my beautiful soul will never enter a place of hell even if I ever did get an abortion. “I’ve seen where i’m going”, God Of The Bible has no claims over me. He does not apply to me or my life. And I am so glad that I am at a place in my life where I can acknowledge it and back it up fiercely. And I don’t give a damn what anyone who is blinded by him has to say about it!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:17 PM EDT

I don’t know why I’m calling this post my confessions. I’ve never had anything to hide. What i really mean by confessing is just acknowledging more in depth how i feel about particular things regarding myself.

I am a female. A woman. And I’m very glad to be. I am strong-minded, strong-willed, determined, stubborn, confident, opinionated, outspoken and a few other things. When i was a little girl i loved to have fun just like most children and i was very creative.

A lot of children have an idea of what they want to be when they become an adult. I knew by the age of ten that i would write and that is the age that i began writing the short stories that i use to. I also knew that when i grew up that i never wanted to marry. I am thirty-one years old now and have never had a boyfriend.

So i really did know what i did and did not want early on. I also knew that one day when i was ready i would want to have two children, preferably two female children. Two daughters. My two little girls. The only problem was how would i get them? I didn’t want no man on top of me.

I thought going to a sperm bank would cost too much money for me at the time since there was no guarantee that conception would occur during the first insemination. I’ve heard of women spending up to six thousands of dollars after numerous tries before actual conception occurred through being artificially inseminated by a doctor.

So if i really wanted to have a child I’d have to do what i had to do and that would mean lying down with a man that i didn’t want. It wouldn’t have been a problem. A whole lot of men were interested in me during my younger years. They just didn’t understand why i didn’t want to be bothered since most young women are man-crazy and are heavily into a man.

I was just the opposite. A few of the reasons i paid my admirers no attention was because the majority of them were nothing, nobodies. They were in my opinion unattractive and definitely undesirable as far as their physical appearance and level of mentality. What turned me off the most, though, is them approaching me like automatically without them even knowing me, that i was suppose to have an inclination for males.

They made a general assumption about me that was definitely not true. I am Asexual and very proud of it. I’ve never ever had any emotional or physical desire for a man. When guys had crushes on me and expressed their feelings in their own ways it disgusted me where others would think that it was cute or normal. And i am very sure most consider having a crush on someone then acting on it normal.

I felt if a guy was attracted to me and wanted to be with me he should have kept it to himself because he didn’t stand a chance with me. Then i began to think about it a little bit, and thought about using a man’s feelings for me to my advantage. You know when someone is into you and you are not into them then you have the upper hand.

Some of the guys who were interested in me had heard that i was a virgin and probably thought ( in their mind if they were to ever get the chance) by having sex with me they could turn me out or that i would change and become attached to them and fall all over them then a man would have some significance to me. Boy did they have me figured out wrong! Some of those male egos and ignorance’s need to go! There is a whole lot that some men really need to learn.

Yes, i was a virgin as far as never ever having intercourse with a man. A male penis had never penetrated my vagina but i had already experienced sexual pleasure without the aid of a man.

You see, i had discovered my clitoris years beforehand. It is a very sensitive area connected to nerves inside the body that with the educated touch of a finger ( i learned naturally on my own ) there are very nice sensations and climaxes to experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with self experimentation, getting to know and love your own self sexually before letting someone else take control. But when a man is inside of you he is not the one really in control of giving you your pleasure.

It is all up to you and your mind whether or not your body will allow his penis to ignite those sensations. You have to already have an attraction or desire for a man in order to feel any pleasure from him. This particular subject is not embarrassing and it should not be. It is important.

When i was a little girl i curiously took a mirror to see what my vagina looked like. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! None of these things mean that you are being a bad girl or fresh. It is being smart and knowledgeable.

During the very first and only time period i tried to get pregnant by attempting sexual intercourse i felt absolutely nothing, no kind of sensation or pleasure whatsoever from the penis i endured because i had no desire and emotion to be with any male. On the other hand though, i could go and stimulate my clitoris on my own while i was alone and feel all the pleasure in the world because my mind was happily accepting that i was the one who was causing sensations received by myself.

My mind and body was and is not receptive to the thought of being touched by a man since nothing about a man arouses me. My body doesn’t want something pounding inside and out, that is just plain stupid! During clitoral stimulation, there is no penetration. Only i can arouse myself as i am in love with myself. And i haven’t ever been with any other man since. That was years ago. And for the future there won’t be another one.

My vagina is strictly off limits as it has always been. There is no man anywhere around me or in my neighborhood who can honestly say that they had me or will have me because now i have the money to go to a sperm bank if i really want to.

Even if i didn’t have the money i still would not resort to lying down with a man because that is not who i am and because to me it is so unnatural. My clitoris is natural. I was born with it. I know how to take care of myself. If i want a vaginal massage, i prefer myself.

When and if i eventually do get pregnant, like i mentioned before I’d prefer to have girls. My girls because i know they’d be very similar to me i have very strong genes. If i unfortunately get pregnant with a boy I’d be very pissed off and disappointed then I’d go seek an abortion. You see, there is no way in the world that i would want or have anything male growing up inside of me.

I know the way that i feel goes against God’s will just as fornication. God would prefer that i get married then have children and accept the children no matter what the sex is especially since I’m so spiritually blessed the way that i am.

However, i have my own will. And it goes against God’s. Now i live a very clean life as it is. I never went astray. I fornicated on only one occasion and that was done purely to make a baby and not out of any type of lust but i think the act itself left me open and vulnerable to the attack of evil spirits when my enemies worked their witchcraft.

Protection comes with God’s Holy Spirit and his spirit is not to be defiled by any spiritual uncleanliness. Now while witchcraft was unable to affect my strength, mind, actions and emotions it was able to affect my progress in life by interfering with my destiny.

So it wasn’t so much about my enemies having the ability to attack me it was that at the hands of my own actions i gave them the opportunity by disobeying God and defiling his Holy Spirit. If i had been married the act would’ve been clean.

Nevertheless, you know what? I still say even though i am spiritually restored now i don’t think that was fair. And life is not fair. I am a very good person and i don’t deny the power and works of the Lord but my heart is hardened against the way God set certain things.

The only real big sin that i was and am guilty of is rebellion. I still refuse to want to do it the Lord’s way by getting married to have a child and I’d still get an abortion or want to if i ever get pregnant with a male child. If i did get married I’d just be using the man for what i want. It just wouldn’t work out.

I lose patience in just two weeks of being around a man. And like i said before I’d never have any sexual dealings with a man as long as i live so if i lose God’s partial protection again by trying to conceive a child out of wedlock through going to a sperm bank and getting rid of a fetus because it turns out to be a boy then the Lord is just not right. My feelings will never change even if i risk spending an eternity burning in hell for it.

The All Seeing Truth Not Blinded By The Lies

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/my-confessions/

I’m Steps Ahead

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:15 AM EDT

As some may know at birth i was born with a double veil which means that i have very strong spiritual abilities. Aside from already being intelligent the reason i have so much knowledge is because i am a very accurate clairvoyant.

This is the month of September, there is only about three and a half more months left before a new year comes in and still my enemies won’t stop endeavoring to destroy me. I’m so tired of having to mention them but they just won’t leave me alone.

I don’t write about each an everything they do and have done but i write about a great deal of their actions because they definitely need to be exposed and because i’m not afraid to and will continue to speak on the things going on in the world that aren’t right.

While there are some in the world aware of my enemies wrongdoings due to their own experiences or through the experiences of others or through things that get wind there are still a great deal who aren’t aware and Divine Spirit may be using me to get the word out to deserving people who are in the dark.

I know i am not the only one who these type of sick people are doing this to it just so happens that i’m a spiritually gifted person who is well aware an in tune with what is going on around me. And i also have a significant source of protection in my favor that my enemies don’t seem and choose to accept.

Obviously they have greatly underestimated my strength, knowledge, power, and purpose. I am set way apart from them and this world-if not they would have been had me by now. They’ll never get me. No one can stop what my higher power almighty “Orisha” puts out!

I am a person who is pure in heart and in mind.

I don’t, and never have smoked, indulged in drugs or alcohol, and i don’t have sexual relations with anyone and that is my business. It is who i am what keeps me strong and standing. My physical self as well as spiritual-but more so my spiritual self because my spirit has got me the way that i am.

I’m truly a good person. This is all a part of my character. I live a clean life which causes no strains in my life because i am naturally this way. In the same it is in a way making me a target.

The way that i am may be foreign to a lot of people but i feel the same way about them. Their way of life is foreign to me and i may think of some of their lifestyles as crazy nevertheless i don’t care.

To me, smoking is stupid, alcohol unnecessary, and men the easiest thing to stay away from.

Now, i don’t knock anybody for what they do because i don’t do it, it’s just i don’t stand for any belittlement for the way how i live my life especially since i’m very proud of the person i was born to be.

This past Sunday and Monday things got a little heated “as far as my enemies are concerned”.

They started their usual crap when they “think” they’re “doing something”. I guess they spent a lot of time indulging in their chanting and candle burning to try to have an affect on my emotions that never really works on me anyway. So when they see me they proceed with talk that is suppose to make me paranoid, nervous, or feel down.

You see, i’ve always known these things because i’m fed knowledge through spirits and intelligence.

Within those two days, as soon as i came into their view, they began referring to me in a sexual nature. In other words insinuating that i’m a wild sex-crazed person who sleeps around all of the time.

As smart as i am i don’t understand why they stay on this particular subject when it comes to them using witchcraft to try to bring me down. With all of the other lies that they can use to say at me they stay on this whore tip. They don’t make any utterances about me being a crackhead, lesbian, or thief. It’s always mostly about me being the big whore that they absolutely wish i was. And it’s so interesting since i know i have never actually done any of the things they are describing yet they feel it should bother me.

So on Monday night when a small crowd finished uttering things about me which never existed i overheard one say to another “It’s not working”.

And, the other responded “It’s okay” or “Don’t worry about it” something to that nature.

They gave themselves away!

Why should it work on me? What they are doing is crazy. They even got certain people on my job going along with it by acting stupid. How can i get paranoid or feel down about things that don’t have anything to do with me? Shit they all created?

Like i mentioned before they have greatly underestimated me.

I know they want me to have a mental and emotional breakdown but i never have, i’m far from it, and so on to them. I wonder how many people they’ve succeeded with who didn’t know any better. It is such a shame. I hope more an more people catch on to these type of sick peoples games because for so many years they have been destroying the lives of so many good people who may have thought that they were crazy due to the subtlety of this matter.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/im-steps-ahead/

Set Ups

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Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 12:06 AM EDT

When i first started working at my job my enemies who i don’t even know personally tried to discourage me by attempting to intimidate me in their own ignorant ways. All their efforts were definitely in vain because nobody has ever been able to scare me or to stop me from doing what i have or wanted to accomplish.

It is a shame how far people will go when they want to destroy another person’s life due to the fact that they don’t have a life of their own that is worth anything.

Most of my days here on earth people have been interfering with my progress through the works of witchcraft and my great-grandmother Amanda Byars was one of the ringleaders.

The witchcraft never gave my enemies the results they were looking for as far as controlling me and my mind because i was too strong and good of a person so my Ancestors and Orishas protected me in that aspect. But it worked as a blockage in certain areas of my life by preventing a lot of wonderful things that were suppose to come my way.

I was born to have strong success through my intelligence and talents which my destiny has bestowed on me. I was supposed to have a totally different life than what i have now. I should be on a much higher level when it comes to “setting”. I put all my enemies witchcraft to an end! It’s been put to an end for a while now. I’m not going to tell how i did it but their shit is finally over. They can keep trying out of their ignorance and denial but like i said they’re doomed. Just take my word for it! I have a new beginning now with no more interference.

I’m doing everything that my enemies never wanted to see. I never had a breakdown or a major downfall. I’ve managed to maintain myself all of these years with a healthy growth and more knowledge that they’ll never recognize in me or be able to acquire for themselves. And just to think, that they actually thought they could stop me. They were too stupid to realize that their kind aren’t anything to me or compared to me.

And i don’t give a darn what they feel about me.

They ain’t shit to be scared or worried about. I can see right through them. But they believed that because there was so many of them against me they would overcome me. To me, it’s not the quantity but the quality of something. There can be just one person who is of substance with true backbone who is able to conquer such as myself while there are millions who are garbage that will fall as they did.

I’m working at a J.C. Penny’s department store located inside a mall. It’s no big deal to me but the money is good for me while i build back up my writing career that was put to a halt when the witchcraft my enemies had worked on me backfired then affected the success i was suppose to been have achieved.

I intend to work there at the store until my career takes off.

And, my enemies had the nerve to try to stop this little job that i have. They sent this woman there who tried to pick an argument with me which i didn’t feed into. So she went and found a manager who happened to be the same male manager that i mentioned in my “Love Spell” post on this blog and i found that quite “fishy”.

Out of all the managers who work there. Approximately three hundred people work at my J.C. Penny’s department store and she just so happens to run into that asshole.

The woman told lies on me to get me fired but it didn’t turn out the way she and the others who were in on this set up planned.

Managers there didn’t believe her story and she was stupid because cameras are hooked up all over the place and there are plenty of co-workers around who listen and see things that go on. Their dirt and lies aren’t going far as the way that it use to when they had binding spells and spells to destroy me in action.

Things are reversed now and are still reversing. They have a lifetime of their own dirt to reap.

I can just imagine how many good people these low-lifes destroyed and tried to destroy, it is so sickening to me. But i’m a fighter and a conqueror by nature. I am one who will always take a chunk out of them in a battle of good vs bad.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/set-ups/

Jealousy In The Family

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 1:12 PM EST

Most jealousy starts at home within the family. And this has been going on since the beginning of time, just like with the story of Cain and Abel. I had the potential and “energy” to make a lot of money from the books that i wrote and most of my big bucks never reached me (a spiritual freeze) because of my two most envious relatives. They never wanted me to have anything.

My great-grandmother Amanda and aunt Tina are two of the dirtiest dogs walking the face of the earth. I call them dogs because they’re not worthy of the title “women”. They’ve tried to have me raped and killed but those things didn’t go through, i was able to avoid those situations.

Amanda and Tina used outsiders to aide them in going against me to try to ruin my life. They lied to some people to get them to go along with doing their dirt. And those particular people fell for the lies because some wouldn’t think that a grandmother would go around lying on their grandchildren to destroy them, and since she was old they probably figured that she knew what she was talking about.

Some people are blinded by age. Others went along with them because they were in the same category as Amanda and Tina, low-down and no good.

Amanda and Tina are both dykes. Well, they’re really bisexual ’cause they mess with men too. They have a lot in common. They were beat up and dogged by men before and mistreated by some who were supposed to be their friends, and they are so sick that they both practice evil voodoo. I’ve never let no man or anybody use and abuse me, people can only do that if you allow them to.

Amanda is jealous of other’s within our family also, not just me, and they know about it because we’ve discussed it. She’s talked about all of us like a dog to one another. But we know she’s just mad that our lives turned out better than her’s. Some man that Amanda use to go with had sex with her when she was young and busted her vagina wide open because his penis was too big and she had to get stitched up. I guess that is enough to make anybody mad but it’s not our fault that she was stupid enough to let some man bang her up so badly. What goes around comes back around and every evil thing that Amanda and Tina did to me and my other family members has caught up with them.

They are both dying from AIDS, a disease that the doctor’s can’t cure. My uncle got his too he died from the disease two years ago. I’ve watched them waste away. The two of them are both miserable and are taking their sins slowly but surely to their grave while we-my other family members and i-still have plenty more life to live harmoniously and without regret. And the sad thing about it is that even though Amanda and Tina have a little bit of time left they are still using it to do more dirt. But the good thing is that they can’t touch us anymore. They never really had total power over us, it’s just that their ability to work evil has finally come to an end.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/jealousy-in-the-family/

Happiness

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Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 11:13 AM EST

I find joy in having a peace of mind. I find joy in the strength that my ancestors gave me.

I found joy during bad times because when darkness was around me my light still shined, leading me straight to the path of my success.

True joy comes from the Orishas.

And the joy that i have the world didn’t give it to me, and the world can’t take it away.

 

 

Post Comment (1) Comments

It is nice to know that somewhere along the road of discovering ourselves, whether struggles or lessons, We come across realizing that we meet half conciousness of the society we belong too. Keep track knowing God deeply, cause i am sure innate happiness is so intimate that nobody could ever take it away from you. The feeling of security comes with solitude cause God is with you.Godbless. :)

Posted by Life_Quest on Monday, April 17, 2006 10:15 AM EDT

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/106/

Special Wisdom

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 4:17 PM EDT

I’ve always been able to take large peeks into the future. And no, that at all does not make me a genius. But it does make me very aware of what i can expect to happen in my life and in the lives of certain others.

All of my years here on earth i’ve been criticized, misjudged, lied on, hated, and the object of much envy and jealousy among some just like a lot of others have.

One thing i know to count on though and that is i eventually come out on top regardless of the trials i have to sometimes go through or the peoples predictions of what me and my life will turn out to be.

There have been older people in their fifties who were beneath me and who had the nerve to talk down to me, telling me that because they were older than me that made them more knowledgeable and more experienced when it came to going through things. They were sheer fools when they spoke those words to me!

I, one of the people down here on earth who can tell them all about the life that they think they’ve lived and what they will live ahead, am experienced in a way they’ll never know and they need to be more respectful toward people who are able to stir up that type of power.

I feel i’ve been here before, and when i die i don’t want to come back again. I don’t think i know everything because i don’t, but i do know a lot and nothing in this world really excites or surprises me. I’m just making do until “Divine Spirit” uses me for whatever it is that he wants me to do, and brings me into whatever it is that is meant.

And i admit that while i kill time here, it gets boring going over the same shit with certain kinds of people that i already know the answers to, i’m not learning anything new through their actions and way of life as i watch them. And, maybe i just don’t care! I’d benefit more from those who have and seek foundation, we all learn and grow when we’re on that path.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/special-wisdom/