Category Archives: beauty

Strength, Power

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Monday, April 02, 2007 at 11:21 AM EDT

You know, things are really looking up for me. I am getting ready to start a new career already! It will begin in a short time. I never worry about my future because i have always been able to see into the future. I’ve been looking to start something new for quite a while now. I get bored very quick. When something doesn’t hold my interest i have to move on to things that better suit me.

A door has closed in my life and a new door has opened and it is very exciting. I am anticipating this new part of my life that is on it’s way. I played a part in my life taking another new start.

The way that i feel is if i want a change i have to be the one to take charge and i absolutely have the power to do so spiritually and, nothing is able to stop me. I am a fighter, a survivor.

I’ve always been a very strong person who is not afraid of too much. And i haven’t been afraid to go about things in my own way and i realize that i am pushing forward more now in a way that is going full forward in my favor.

I’m feeling great bursts of positive energy. I’m feeling extreme confidence. I am very smart, strong and pretty. And, i think that i am more crazier now than ever.

I’ve always felt this good about myself but my feelings are heightened.

I found a greater method in developing and maintaining my spirituality. I had to build a new foundation. And all negative influences that are around me are becoming even more and more irrelevant.

Things are indeed still going on but it has nothing to do with me. It is about me yet it is all in my enemies (and those who don’t know any better) heads.

They are living in a world that i am not in. I’m here, i’ll just never adapt to the things that are not befitting to me so i stay in my real world that i belong in. I am in the world but not of it.

Aside from having the ability to handle adversity the way that i can sometimes i wonder if it is good to be too strong, not caring about things like what people say, think and feel. And not getting embarrassed and worrying about what is going to go down in life. I’ve always been that way and it can be bad because i have hurt people with my careless ways and attitude. I don’t dwell on the thought, though.

I am who i am naturally, and i can’t change.

Even if being too strong is not a good thing i still have my benefits because some can’t see me for who i really am. Some think i’m sweet and innocent. I am a good person but i am not as sweet as they think. And i’m innocent as far as never being lustful, in love before or damaged by anyone, and i don’t have no dirt on me, but that is about it.

Right now, i am getting very acquainted with this enhanced spiritual power that i have received. It is getting distinctly familiar with me and i am getting distinctly familiar with it and we are becoming ultimately unified.

( A Strong Faith Sees The Invisible. Believes The Impossible. And Receives The Incredible ) – A quote!

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/strength-power/

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Words To Live By

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Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 5:45 AM EDT

Everything that i write is original. My words all come from my own heart, soul and mind.

However, this that i am about to write is something i received in my email almost a year ago. I am copying it down on this post on my blog to share. It is inspirational and i totally agree with everything that it says.

The words are from a column in a magazine:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.

Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.

Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

-Buddha

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/words-to-live-by/

My Confessions

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Peace, Power, Purity, And Protection

Significance Of The Caul/A Caulbearer Who Cannot Be Defeated

January 28th, 2012

Everyone makes mistakes and indeed this was a big one! Everything in my post is the truth except for what I mentioned about God.

I wrote this post about fives years ago and now I can come out with the total truth that I could not say at the time. I don’t really feel that I did anything wrong. I don’t really believe that the only true protection comes from The God Of The Bible.

My actions did not cause me to be open for any attack because I don’t believe in or follow that God of the bible’s sick “will” especially that garbage about a man and a woman becoming one flesh. I will always be whole and complete and no one flesh with nobody.

I truly feel that God was responsible for allowing those sick witchcraft experiences because I never cared for him and belonged to him, and I thank my lucky stars because I don’t ever want to be one of his children.

I have true supervision and protection from my Ancestors and Orishas like I had all through out my life I just had to get reconnected and reacquainted since I was attacked by witchcraft at such an early age ( ever since I was seven ).

Even though I didn’t truly from my heart mean what I said in this post regarding “God” I really regret having done so because I would never intentionally want to give him any type of glory or justification whatsoever!

And I know damn well that my beautiful soul will never enter a place of hell even if I ever did get an abortion. “I’ve seen where i’m going”, God Of The Bible has no claims over me. He does not apply to me or my life. And I am so glad that I am at a place in my life where I can acknowledge it and back it up fiercely. And I don’t give a damn what anyone who is blinded by him has to say about it!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:17 PM EDT

I don’t know why I’m calling this post my confessions. I’ve never had anything to hide. What i really mean by confessing is just acknowledging more in depth how i feel about particular things regarding myself.

I am a female. A woman. And I’m very glad to be. I am strong-minded, strong-willed, determined, stubborn, confident, opinionated, outspoken and a few other things. When i was a little girl i loved to have fun just like most children and i was very creative.

A lot of children have an idea of what they want to be when they become an adult. I knew by the age of ten that i would write and that is the age that i began writing the short stories that i use to. I also knew that when i grew up that i never wanted to marry. I am thirty-one years old now and have never had a boyfriend.

So i really did know what i did and did not want early on. I also knew that one day when i was ready i would want to have two children, preferably two female children. Two daughters. My two little girls. The only problem was how would i get them? I didn’t want no man on top of me.

I thought going to a sperm bank would cost too much money for me at the time since there was no guarantee that conception would occur during the first insemination. I’ve heard of women spending up to six thousands of dollars after numerous tries before actual conception occurred through being artificially inseminated by a doctor.

So if i really wanted to have a child I’d have to do what i had to do and that would mean lying down with a man that i didn’t want. It wouldn’t have been a problem. A whole lot of men were interested in me during my younger years. They just didn’t understand why i didn’t want to be bothered since most young women are man-crazy and are heavily into a man.

I was just the opposite. A few of the reasons i paid my admirers no attention was because the majority of them were nothing, nobodies. They were in my opinion unattractive and definitely undesirable as far as their physical appearance and level of mentality. What turned me off the most, though, is them approaching me like automatically without them even knowing me, that i was suppose to have an inclination for males.

They made a general assumption about me that was definitely not true. I am Asexual and very proud of it. I’ve never ever had any emotional or physical desire for a man. When guys had crushes on me and expressed their feelings in their own ways it disgusted me where others would think that it was cute or normal. And i am very sure most consider having a crush on someone then acting on it normal.

I felt if a guy was attracted to me and wanted to be with me he should have kept it to himself because he didn’t stand a chance with me. Then i began to think about it a little bit, and thought about using a man’s feelings for me to my advantage. You know when someone is into you and you are not into them then you have the upper hand.

Some of the guys who were interested in me had heard that i was a virgin and probably thought ( in their mind if they were to ever get the chance) by having sex with me they could turn me out or that i would change and become attached to them and fall all over them then a man would have some significance to me. Boy did they have me figured out wrong! Some of those male egos and ignorance’s need to go! There is a whole lot that some men really need to learn.

Yes, i was a virgin as far as never ever having intercourse with a man. A male penis had never penetrated my vagina but i had already experienced sexual pleasure without the aid of a man.

You see, i had discovered my clitoris years beforehand. It is a very sensitive area connected to nerves inside the body that with the educated touch of a finger ( i learned naturally on my own ) there are very nice sensations and climaxes to experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with self experimentation, getting to know and love your own self sexually before letting someone else take control. But when a man is inside of you he is not the one really in control of giving you your pleasure.

It is all up to you and your mind whether or not your body will allow his penis to ignite those sensations. You have to already have an attraction or desire for a man in order to feel any pleasure from him. This particular subject is not embarrassing and it should not be. It is important.

When i was a little girl i curiously took a mirror to see what my vagina looked like. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! None of these things mean that you are being a bad girl or fresh. It is being smart and knowledgeable.

During the very first and only time period i tried to get pregnant by attempting sexual intercourse i felt absolutely nothing, no kind of sensation or pleasure whatsoever from the penis i endured because i had no desire and emotion to be with any male. On the other hand though, i could go and stimulate my clitoris on my own while i was alone and feel all the pleasure in the world because my mind was happily accepting that i was the one who was causing sensations received by myself.

My mind and body was and is not receptive to the thought of being touched by a man since nothing about a man arouses me. My body doesn’t want something pounding inside and out, that is just plain stupid! During clitoral stimulation, there is no penetration. Only i can arouse myself as i am in love with myself. And i haven’t ever been with any other man since. That was years ago. And for the future there won’t be another one.

My vagina is strictly off limits as it has always been. There is no man anywhere around me or in my neighborhood who can honestly say that they had me or will have me because now i have the money to go to a sperm bank if i really want to.

Even if i didn’t have the money i still would not resort to lying down with a man because that is not who i am and because to me it is so unnatural. My clitoris is natural. I was born with it. I know how to take care of myself. If i want a vaginal massage, i prefer myself.

When and if i eventually do get pregnant, like i mentioned before I’d prefer to have girls. My girls because i know they’d be very similar to me i have very strong genes. If i unfortunately get pregnant with a boy I’d be very pissed off and disappointed then I’d go seek an abortion. You see, there is no way in the world that i would want or have anything male growing up inside of me.

I know the way that i feel goes against God’s will just as fornication. God would prefer that i get married then have children and accept the children no matter what the sex is especially since I’m so spiritually blessed the way that i am.

However, i have my own will. And it goes against God’s. Now i live a very clean life as it is. I never went astray. I fornicated on only one occasion and that was done purely to make a baby and not out of any type of lust but i think the act itself left me open and vulnerable to the attack of evil spirits when my enemies worked their witchcraft.

Protection comes with God’s Holy Spirit and his spirit is not to be defiled by any spiritual uncleanliness. Now while witchcraft was unable to affect my strength, mind, actions and emotions it was able to affect my progress in life by interfering with my destiny.

So it wasn’t so much about my enemies having the ability to attack me it was that at the hands of my own actions i gave them the opportunity by disobeying God and defiling his Holy Spirit. If i had been married the act would’ve been clean.

Nevertheless, you know what? I still say even though i am spiritually restored now i don’t think that was fair. And life is not fair. I am a very good person and i don’t deny the power and works of the Lord but my heart is hardened against the way God set certain things.

The only real big sin that i was and am guilty of is rebellion. I still refuse to want to do it the Lord’s way by getting married to have a child and I’d still get an abortion or want to if i ever get pregnant with a male child. If i did get married I’d just be using the man for what i want. It just wouldn’t work out.

I lose patience in just two weeks of being around a man. And like i said before I’d never have any sexual dealings with a man as long as i live so if i lose God’s partial protection again by trying to conceive a child out of wedlock through going to a sperm bank and getting rid of a fetus because it turns out to be a boy then the Lord is just not right. My feelings will never change even if i risk spending an eternity burning in hell for it.

The All Seeing Truth Not Blinded By The Lies

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/my-confessions/

Body Image

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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 10:07 AM EDT

I’m not self-conscious about anything when it comes to me. I really appreciate the things that i am blessed with. I like the way i look, i like how i talk, i like the way i think, i like the way i walk. and i like how i act. Everything about me is real, natural, and extraordinary!

I have a very slim figure. I love the shape and size of my body, and if nobody else does that is their problem. What does anyone else’s opinion have to do with me?

I listen to some people and how they are so obsessed with their appearance due to what they feel are society’s standards of how one should be displayed.

And, some people starve themselves to be thin by eating then intentionally vomiting up their food or by just not eating at all. Anorexia and Bulimia are quite ridiculous.

I use to be much heavier when i was in my early teens.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid or chubby if you are healthy. The reason i felt i had to get rid of the weight that i had is because my thighs started rubbing together and i’d run out of breath easily. But i don’t cut off my food supply to look a certain way. My metabolism has changed since then so i can eat whatever i want and don’t gain anything.

I do a lot of walking and my energy burns fat off.

But for those who’s food does stick to them rather quickly, so what? Who has the right to say extra meat on one’s bones is not attractive? I’d never compromise myself to be so-called “beautified” to anyone’s bullshit standards. As a black person i may be considered too skinny to some. A lot of black women’s trademarks are having huge behinds, thick thighs, and big hips. I’ve been there, it doesn’t mean a thing to me! I’m little now. I’ve had a little body for a long time now and i love it!

We have to be happy with ourselves and make ourselves happy.

No one can ever make me feel bad about myself because i love myself way too much. If someone doesn’t approve of the way you appear maybe they’re not good enough to be around you, and that goes for anyone- an associate, boyfriend, relative and whoever else!

When i style my hair i do it for me and not to impress people that i come into contact with on the outside. I’ll do my hair when i don’t go out! When i wear my clothes it’s to look good and decent for myself because i may like “my own shit”.

And when others do appreciate or compliment anything about you it can be cool but it shouldn’t be the most important because when you completely and genuinely are secure and approve of yourself anything that anyone feels about you-nice or nasty-won’t be of any deep “fazing”.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/body-image/

Happiness

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Saturday, February 04, 2006 at 11:13 AM EST

I find joy in having a peace of mind. I find joy in the strength that my ancestors gave me.

I found joy during bad times because when darkness was around me my light still shined, leading me straight to the path of my success.

True joy comes from the Orishas.

And the joy that i have the world didn’t give it to me, and the world can’t take it away.

 

 

Post Comment (1) Comments

It is nice to know that somewhere along the road of discovering ourselves, whether struggles or lessons, We come across realizing that we meet half conciousness of the society we belong too. Keep track knowing God deeply, cause i am sure innate happiness is so intimate that nobody could ever take it away from you. The feeling of security comes with solitude cause God is with you.Godbless. :)

Posted by Life_Quest on Monday, April 17, 2006 10:15 AM EDT

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/106/

God

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 3:56 PM EDT

It is said that nobody is above God and that we are not suppose to ask “why?” Why things have to be the way they are, and why whatever else.

And i may cross the line when i say this but i feel that i do have the right to ask why because life isn’t fair and because i didn’t ask to come into this world. It is not doing me any great favor by me being here that i should go along with the way life is.

I know none of us are suppose to be “perfect” in God’s eyes and that none of us truly see things the way that he does because we are suppose to be incapable of comprehending his knowledge.

And me, being human, of course do not like all of the rules that he sets and i guess it’s because we’re all born into “so call” sin and are suppose to be sinners by nature.

I feel some things that God sees as a sin should not be. Nevertheless, it is also said that God gives us his laws to abide by not to make us unhappy but for our protection. Very few of his rules maybe i can accept with no problem, and there are the rest that i strongly disagree with.

To be even more honest though. I always thought the bible to be one of the sickest books that i’ve ever read. And as a spiritual person by birth and by nature i have never truly felt any connection with this “God” and have uncovered things about him and life ( things i have always speculated since childhood ) that i will not disclose.

Contrary to the bible and popular belief life (definitely my life in particular) is so much purer, happier, better, fulfilling and peaceful without him.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/god/

A Peace Of Mind

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 3:43 PM EDT

My spirit doesn’t take too well to negativity. And that goes for negative people as well as negative things. Even though i was able to survive many types of negativity that was set before me by demented individuals i totally despise having to be around it.

There is a particular feeling i’ve experienced on more than one occasion. It’s an intense feeling of natural pure ecstasy. A genuine exalted rapture. And no matter what may be going on around me at the time the mood cannot be spoiled.

I don’t know if there is a name for it but it definitely is spiritual and i wish that i could feel that way all of the time. Unfortunately, in reality nobody feels a great deep mystical emotional high everyday so maybe it’s just a temporary sign of what’s to come eventually.

In the meantime, i’ll settle for the little things that mean a lot to me and make me happy. And, that is being independent! I like to be alone, i like to do things on my own, and when i choose to be around a small number of people they are of genuinely good quality because i am very particular.

It may sound snobbish but my tolerance is very low. I was that way when i was younger-now it’s even worse. I can’t be bothered with what i don’t like and i don’t care at what stake.

Nothing is more important than my well-being. I don’t put up with idle gossip, trouble, and people who are a waste of my time. And those are the few things that contribute to me having a Peace Of Mind.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/a-peace-of-peace/