Category Archives: judgements

Confidence

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 9:18 PM EDT

I’ve always believed in myself. I know that i am worth a million. Is there conceit in me? Hell yeah! I know that i’m great. Do i have an exaggerated view of myself? Hell no! I am just as i know myself to be if not more, it is a fact. Will i continue to ride up on my high horse? You damn right! And i am riding so high.

Sure, there are and will always be people behind the scenes who will try to pull me down. They won’t get the chance though! If i go down in my life it will be because of my own doing. I am the only one who is able to bring myself down.

No matter what i may have been through in life no one has ever been able to take away my confidence. If they had, i never would’ve kept going, knowing, and believing that i’d be the one to prevail because of the person that i was. I knew something had to give. Does that make sense?

When a person loses their confidence they lose who they are. It is not so much about their actions but what they feel inside. It’s not what you do it’s how you feel about yourself. Do you understand what i mean?

A lot of the time people tend to judge other people on what they see on the outside rather than considering how their minds may be thinking or working. Most people don’t know what is going on inside of another person’s head unless they tell them. So how someone acts or reacts doesn’t necessarily have to do with what that person feels.

For example, an individual can know how attractive they are and won’t enter into a beauty competition, not because they don’t think they can win but because they just may not want to. Maybe it’s not their thing. They know how good they look and are able to give competitors a run for their money. The event just may not spark up their interest.

There are going to be certain types of people and things throughout life that will indeed try to discourage you. They’ll do their best to make you doubt yourself when they really know that you do have the capabilities or attributes. Even if someone doesn’t believe in you, underestimates you, or disregards you don’t let it stop you from believing in yourself.

You see, no one can tell me who i am or who i am not because i know and it makes their judgement of no value to me. That is how secure i am with myself and because i know how narrow-minded a lot of people are.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/confidence/

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Brainwashed

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:51 PM EDT

It’s a huge world out there. There are so many people who don’t know what they be talking about. Then, you have many who do know what they are talking about. There are so many cultures, lifestyles, beliefs, opinions and ways that people are raised.

When you come into your own is when you really discover what is important since it partly develops into what may define some of your character. Some need to evaluate many of the things that they value or consider a value to them. They need to know where their ideas originated from-whether they made the decision on their own or let someone else decide for them.

Do you live by or go along with something because that is truly the way you feel in your heart or because it is the way that most people do so you just accepted it as the way to go or as it is said “the way it is suppose to be?”

I myself actually have never allowed society or any individual to dictate how i should live my life no matter how negatively or positively they may have decided to view me. I cannot and will not let the opinions of others faze me while i continue to take my journey through this life. Nobody is going to determine how i should feel about things, what i believe in and don’t believe in, and what i should agree with and don’t agree with.

No one can tell me what i don’t want to hear because i am going to have the last word when it comes to my life since i am the one living it! Nobody knows me better than i know myself.

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with hearing another person out if you decide what they are saying is worth hearing. It makes no sense to be oblivious to the diversities in the world. However, you don’t have to listen to it. It’s just vital for you to be aware of it and that it is going on and going on with these people.There is plenty of shit going on in the world that is not too kosher as far as i am concerned and i refuse to let my mind be molded and corrupted with some of the things that this society considers appropriate and not appropriate.

Of course, i may not know everything but i know a hell of a lot and enough to know that the so-called generalized way of how our life “in order” should be lived is a big mess. Yes, it is indeed true that whatever life is to one is the way they should live it because nobody’s path is the same.

We all have our own minds and ways of behavior-thank goodness for that! What i am talking about is being consciously or subconsciously programmed by what is displayed by myths, stereotypes, the media and even small things in life that we are taught. I don’t accept something as a fact as to what is right or wrong simply because it is said that it is the way it’s suppose to be or because so many people feel and are in a particular mode. I am also a person and i do count and my ways and thoughts differ greatly than the majority.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/brainwashed/

My Confessions

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Peace, Power, Purity, And Protection

Significance Of The Caul/A Caulbearer Who Cannot Be Defeated

January 28th, 2012

Everyone makes mistakes and indeed this was a big one! Everything in my post is the truth except for what I mentioned about God.

I wrote this post about fives years ago and now I can come out with the total truth that I could not say at the time. I don’t really feel that I did anything wrong. I don’t really believe that the only true protection comes from The God Of The Bible.

My actions did not cause me to be open for any attack because I don’t believe in or follow that God of the bible’s sick “will” especially that garbage about a man and a woman becoming one flesh. I will always be whole and complete and no one flesh with nobody.

I truly feel that God was responsible for allowing those sick witchcraft experiences because I never cared for him and belonged to him, and I thank my lucky stars because I don’t ever want to be one of his children.

I have true supervision and protection from my Ancestors and Orishas like I had all through out my life I just had to get reconnected and reacquainted since I was attacked by witchcraft at such an early age ( ever since I was seven ).

Even though I didn’t truly from my heart mean what I said in this post regarding “God” I really regret having done so because I would never intentionally want to give him any type of glory or justification whatsoever!

And I know damn well that my beautiful soul will never enter a place of hell even if I ever did get an abortion. “I’ve seen where i’m going”, God Of The Bible has no claims over me. He does not apply to me or my life. And I am so glad that I am at a place in my life where I can acknowledge it and back it up fiercely. And I don’t give a damn what anyone who is blinded by him has to say about it!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:17 PM EDT

I don’t know why I’m calling this post my confessions. I’ve never had anything to hide. What i really mean by confessing is just acknowledging more in depth how i feel about particular things regarding myself.

I am a female. A woman. And I’m very glad to be. I am strong-minded, strong-willed, determined, stubborn, confident, opinionated, outspoken and a few other things. When i was a little girl i loved to have fun just like most children and i was very creative.

A lot of children have an idea of what they want to be when they become an adult. I knew by the age of ten that i would write and that is the age that i began writing the short stories that i use to. I also knew that when i grew up that i never wanted to marry. I am thirty-one years old now and have never had a boyfriend.

So i really did know what i did and did not want early on. I also knew that one day when i was ready i would want to have two children, preferably two female children. Two daughters. My two little girls. The only problem was how would i get them? I didn’t want no man on top of me.

I thought going to a sperm bank would cost too much money for me at the time since there was no guarantee that conception would occur during the first insemination. I’ve heard of women spending up to six thousands of dollars after numerous tries before actual conception occurred through being artificially inseminated by a doctor.

So if i really wanted to have a child I’d have to do what i had to do and that would mean lying down with a man that i didn’t want. It wouldn’t have been a problem. A whole lot of men were interested in me during my younger years. They just didn’t understand why i didn’t want to be bothered since most young women are man-crazy and are heavily into a man.

I was just the opposite. A few of the reasons i paid my admirers no attention was because the majority of them were nothing, nobodies. They were in my opinion unattractive and definitely undesirable as far as their physical appearance and level of mentality. What turned me off the most, though, is them approaching me like automatically without them even knowing me, that i was suppose to have an inclination for males.

They made a general assumption about me that was definitely not true. I am Asexual and very proud of it. I’ve never ever had any emotional or physical desire for a man. When guys had crushes on me and expressed their feelings in their own ways it disgusted me where others would think that it was cute or normal. And i am very sure most consider having a crush on someone then acting on it normal.

I felt if a guy was attracted to me and wanted to be with me he should have kept it to himself because he didn’t stand a chance with me. Then i began to think about it a little bit, and thought about using a man’s feelings for me to my advantage. You know when someone is into you and you are not into them then you have the upper hand.

Some of the guys who were interested in me had heard that i was a virgin and probably thought ( in their mind if they were to ever get the chance) by having sex with me they could turn me out or that i would change and become attached to them and fall all over them then a man would have some significance to me. Boy did they have me figured out wrong! Some of those male egos and ignorance’s need to go! There is a whole lot that some men really need to learn.

Yes, i was a virgin as far as never ever having intercourse with a man. A male penis had never penetrated my vagina but i had already experienced sexual pleasure without the aid of a man.

You see, i had discovered my clitoris years beforehand. It is a very sensitive area connected to nerves inside the body that with the educated touch of a finger ( i learned naturally on my own ) there are very nice sensations and climaxes to experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with self experimentation, getting to know and love your own self sexually before letting someone else take control. But when a man is inside of you he is not the one really in control of giving you your pleasure.

It is all up to you and your mind whether or not your body will allow his penis to ignite those sensations. You have to already have an attraction or desire for a man in order to feel any pleasure from him. This particular subject is not embarrassing and it should not be. It is important.

When i was a little girl i curiously took a mirror to see what my vagina looked like. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! None of these things mean that you are being a bad girl or fresh. It is being smart and knowledgeable.

During the very first and only time period i tried to get pregnant by attempting sexual intercourse i felt absolutely nothing, no kind of sensation or pleasure whatsoever from the penis i endured because i had no desire and emotion to be with any male. On the other hand though, i could go and stimulate my clitoris on my own while i was alone and feel all the pleasure in the world because my mind was happily accepting that i was the one who was causing sensations received by myself.

My mind and body was and is not receptive to the thought of being touched by a man since nothing about a man arouses me. My body doesn’t want something pounding inside and out, that is just plain stupid! During clitoral stimulation, there is no penetration. Only i can arouse myself as i am in love with myself. And i haven’t ever been with any other man since. That was years ago. And for the future there won’t be another one.

My vagina is strictly off limits as it has always been. There is no man anywhere around me or in my neighborhood who can honestly say that they had me or will have me because now i have the money to go to a sperm bank if i really want to.

Even if i didn’t have the money i still would not resort to lying down with a man because that is not who i am and because to me it is so unnatural. My clitoris is natural. I was born with it. I know how to take care of myself. If i want a vaginal massage, i prefer myself.

When and if i eventually do get pregnant, like i mentioned before I’d prefer to have girls. My girls because i know they’d be very similar to me i have very strong genes. If i unfortunately get pregnant with a boy I’d be very pissed off and disappointed then I’d go seek an abortion. You see, there is no way in the world that i would want or have anything male growing up inside of me.

I know the way that i feel goes against God’s will just as fornication. God would prefer that i get married then have children and accept the children no matter what the sex is especially since I’m so spiritually blessed the way that i am.

However, i have my own will. And it goes against God’s. Now i live a very clean life as it is. I never went astray. I fornicated on only one occasion and that was done purely to make a baby and not out of any type of lust but i think the act itself left me open and vulnerable to the attack of evil spirits when my enemies worked their witchcraft.

Protection comes with God’s Holy Spirit and his spirit is not to be defiled by any spiritual uncleanliness. Now while witchcraft was unable to affect my strength, mind, actions and emotions it was able to affect my progress in life by interfering with my destiny.

So it wasn’t so much about my enemies having the ability to attack me it was that at the hands of my own actions i gave them the opportunity by disobeying God and defiling his Holy Spirit. If i had been married the act would’ve been clean.

Nevertheless, you know what? I still say even though i am spiritually restored now i don’t think that was fair. And life is not fair. I am a very good person and i don’t deny the power and works of the Lord but my heart is hardened against the way God set certain things.

The only real big sin that i was and am guilty of is rebellion. I still refuse to want to do it the Lord’s way by getting married to have a child and I’d still get an abortion or want to if i ever get pregnant with a male child. If i did get married I’d just be using the man for what i want. It just wouldn’t work out.

I lose patience in just two weeks of being around a man. And like i said before I’d never have any sexual dealings with a man as long as i live so if i lose God’s partial protection again by trying to conceive a child out of wedlock through going to a sperm bank and getting rid of a fetus because it turns out to be a boy then the Lord is just not right. My feelings will never change even if i risk spending an eternity burning in hell for it.

The All Seeing Truth Not Blinded By The Lies

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/my-confessions/

Garbage

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Thursday, September 28, 2006 at 1:49 PM EDT

No doubt, i was born a person of substance and there is no way in the world that i will ever have any regard or respect for those who are worthless. And i’m talking about the trash, of course. I’m tired of living around them, i’m tired of working around them.

I detected what they were from a very young age and ever since then i’ve always had a deep hatred for them.

I resent God for giving them life and if he had any sense he’d correct his mistake by opening up the grounds around them to let them all be swallowed up to their magnificent death.

There is a definite pattern when it comes to their physical appearance, attitude, and behavior. And no matter how much they dress up or what position they may hold at work it is still obvious to tell just how much they aren’t shit.

It is no secret how i feel about them knuckleheads. They are incompetent, sick-minded, and ignorant. And they really kill me how they think if they talk about you severely it’s suppose to mean something and be effective.

I’m a person of substance. Those people don’t count to me.What they say doesn’t mean shit to me!

They can go around talking and trying to turn as many against me as they want and i’ll say “more power to you” because anybody who listens to people like that are just as fucked up as they are and are doing me a favor by keeping their distance. I don’t want no type of trash in my life and in my world!

I should keep my mouth shut but i am going to write this because it is the truth about how i feel and because i don’t care. I came close to killing a mother fucker years ago. One of those nothings. I tried to smother the mother fucker and it felt so good. The only thing is it happened to be a guy who was built a little stronger than me.

See, i’m little in size but i do have a good amount of physical strength and the position where i had him in was perfect. I had a good grip on him. But he struggled until he broke free and he was scared because even though he may have been able to over power me physically i absolutely had and showed no fear.

I was serious, pissed off ,and burning with a passion to get rid of his ass.

I’m in no way joking or trying to be big and bad i am very serious when it comes to my dislike for those types of people. I was born under the sign Taurus and we are very strong people who have violent tempers when we are provoked enough.

I don’t get into the business of others because it never concerns me. When i’m at my job i do my work. I live my life the way i want to and nothing is going to change me. I have my own views, beliefs, and directions about life and my powers are leading me securely.

I don’t care who may think that i’m stupid or a psychopath. I am very special and very wise.

And i am here in this crazy world for a very strong purpose even though i don’t want to be considering the way that it is. I feel i belong in a much better place, nevertheless, i can be here and am here without actually being a part of this because i’m definitely no part of this world.

No matter how i feel i know i have a very long life to live here on earth to experience more of the things that i deserve and am entitled to. And my one an only problem is not life itself, but what is a lot of other peoples problem also, and that is “garbage”.

Yes, they definitely need to go. They all need to be destroyed.

I’m so in tune that my spirit rejects their presence when they’re around me. It lets me know the depth of what they are and how they need to be on a planet of their very own if they really have to exist at all.

They don’t know how to mind their own business, they are big liars, they’re envious and jealous of everybody, they’re petty, they are trouble, and they make me sick.

I really enjoy it when them types are out of view, their auras are dark. Most of them are the devil’s children (demonic) and they need to go straight to hell.

The garbage keep on multiplying and infesting the world with their children and they keep fucking up the world even though it’s already fucked up.

I’d never give birth to one of those things. I’d be very, very particular who’s sperm to get pregnant by.

No matter what goes on or how many fall under i will always be one to be counted on when it comes to cleaning up, getting rid of, and preventing as much of the stinking “garbage” from the further contamination of the world.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/garbage/

I’m Steps Ahead

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:15 AM EDT

As some may know at birth i was born with a double veil which means that i have very strong spiritual abilities. Aside from already being intelligent the reason i have so much knowledge is because i am a very accurate clairvoyant.

This is the month of September, there is only about three and a half more months left before a new year comes in and still my enemies won’t stop endeavoring to destroy me. I’m so tired of having to mention them but they just won’t leave me alone.

I don’t write about each an everything they do and have done but i write about a great deal of their actions because they definitely need to be exposed and because i’m not afraid to and will continue to speak on the things going on in the world that aren’t right.

While there are some in the world aware of my enemies wrongdoings due to their own experiences or through the experiences of others or through things that get wind there are still a great deal who aren’t aware and Divine Spirit may be using me to get the word out to deserving people who are in the dark.

I know i am not the only one who these type of sick people are doing this to it just so happens that i’m a spiritually gifted person who is well aware an in tune with what is going on around me. And i also have a significant source of protection in my favor that my enemies don’t seem and choose to accept.

Obviously they have greatly underestimated my strength, knowledge, power, and purpose. I am set way apart from them and this world-if not they would have been had me by now. They’ll never get me. No one can stop what my higher power almighty “Orisha” puts out!

I am a person who is pure in heart and in mind.

I don’t, and never have smoked, indulged in drugs or alcohol, and i don’t have sexual relations with anyone and that is my business. It is who i am what keeps me strong and standing. My physical self as well as spiritual-but more so my spiritual self because my spirit has got me the way that i am.

I’m truly a good person. This is all a part of my character. I live a clean life which causes no strains in my life because i am naturally this way. In the same it is in a way making me a target.

The way that i am may be foreign to a lot of people but i feel the same way about them. Their way of life is foreign to me and i may think of some of their lifestyles as crazy nevertheless i don’t care.

To me, smoking is stupid, alcohol unnecessary, and men the easiest thing to stay away from.

Now, i don’t knock anybody for what they do because i don’t do it, it’s just i don’t stand for any belittlement for the way how i live my life especially since i’m very proud of the person i was born to be.

This past Sunday and Monday things got a little heated “as far as my enemies are concerned”.

They started their usual crap when they “think” they’re “doing something”. I guess they spent a lot of time indulging in their chanting and candle burning to try to have an affect on my emotions that never really works on me anyway. So when they see me they proceed with talk that is suppose to make me paranoid, nervous, or feel down.

You see, i’ve always known these things because i’m fed knowledge through spirits and intelligence.

Within those two days, as soon as i came into their view, they began referring to me in a sexual nature. In other words insinuating that i’m a wild sex-crazed person who sleeps around all of the time.

As smart as i am i don’t understand why they stay on this particular subject when it comes to them using witchcraft to try to bring me down. With all of the other lies that they can use to say at me they stay on this whore tip. They don’t make any utterances about me being a crackhead, lesbian, or thief. It’s always mostly about me being the big whore that they absolutely wish i was. And it’s so interesting since i know i have never actually done any of the things they are describing yet they feel it should bother me.

So on Monday night when a small crowd finished uttering things about me which never existed i overheard one say to another “It’s not working”.

And, the other responded “It’s okay” or “Don’t worry about it” something to that nature.

They gave themselves away!

Why should it work on me? What they are doing is crazy. They even got certain people on my job going along with it by acting stupid. How can i get paranoid or feel down about things that don’t have anything to do with me? Shit they all created?

Like i mentioned before they have greatly underestimated me.

I know they want me to have a mental and emotional breakdown but i never have, i’m far from it, and so on to them. I wonder how many people they’ve succeeded with who didn’t know any better. It is such a shame. I hope more an more people catch on to these type of sick peoples games because for so many years they have been destroying the lives of so many good people who may have thought that they were crazy due to the subtlety of this matter.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/im-steps-ahead/

Games, Mind Games

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Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 10:57 AM EDT

I can understand testing someone to see where they may be coming from and a lot of people do it. Then you have those who are out to deceive as a way of life. I despise game-players. Their actions have always been so obvious to me as they thought they were at their slickest.

I’ve watched people run games on other people, messing with their minds in order to gain something from them, to hurt them, or to mislead them for their own personal self-satisfaction.

If someone comes to me playing games it really burns me up because i have never been anybody’s fool.

What kills me about these sick people is when they actually think that they’re getting over with their false words and false actions, and by mixing lies with the truth.

I ask myself “Are they that dumb?” And “Do they think that i am suppose to be dumb?” I know a lot of the time it’s not personal since they do these tricks on a lot of people but some need to realize that they’re making an ass out of themselves.

People are not so stupid.

They may let you believe that you’re fooling them because i have done it. I played the game right along back to assholes who thought they were smart yet too stupid to realize i was way onto them.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/games-mind-games/

Level, Mentality

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Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 4:04 AM EDT

I’ve mentioned before in the past that people believe and think what they want to think even if it is not the truth. And how i’ve always hated ignorant people since i was a child.

I’m not the smartest person in the entire world but i’m very far from a dummy.

There are so many people walking around with false knowledge. Plenty of those who are up there in age still have misconceptions about certain things going on in life. And if you dare to tell them that their information is wrong they don’t want to hear it especially if it’s coming from a person that is much younger who knows what they’re talking about.

One person’s truth is another person’s lie due to the difference in their points of view and how they may see things.

I’ve learned in life that many people generalize, they don’t know any other way of life and when they get around those who differ from them in ways of thinking and behavior they don’t understand then choose to classify them by their limited definitions of what they’re use to.

As far as i am concerned the world is fucked up period. And all that i know is that i don’t have any time for shit that don’t make no sense to me and i have seen and heard a lot of crazy stuff that is considered normal among many.

It is very important to have an accurate amount of street-smarts, book smarts, and spiritual smarts to survive in this world.

A whole lot of people are getting high these days so they’re in their own world making up their own rules, and whatever age they started experimenting with drugs and then continue on to use them, will be the same mind-set that will carry them for the rest of their life. So if a person begins taking drugs at sixteen and is still on them by the age of sixty he or she remains on that sixteen year old level.

Even the little children these days are born crazy. Seven and eight year old girls are wearing thongs. I’m thirty-one years old and have never walked around with shit sticking up my ass in between the cheeks.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/level-mentality/