Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 3:43 PM EDT
My spirit doesn’t take too well to negativity. And that goes for negative people as well as negative things. Even though i was able to survive many types of negativity that was set before me by demented individuals i totally despise having to be around it.
There is a particular feeling i’ve experienced on more than one occasion. It’s an intense feeling of natural pure ecstasy. A genuine exalted rapture. And no matter what may be going on around me at the time the mood cannot be spoiled.
I don’t know if there is a name for it but it definitely is spiritual and i wish that i could feel that way all of the time. Unfortunately, in reality nobody feels a great deep mystical emotional high everyday so maybe it’s just a temporary sign of what’s to come eventually.
In the meantime, i’ll settle for the little things that mean a lot to me and make me happy. And, that is being independent! I like to be alone, i like to do things on my own, and when i choose to be around a small number of people they are of genuinely good quality because i am very particular.
It may sound snobbish but my tolerance is very low. I was that way when i was younger-now it’s even worse. I can’t be bothered with what i don’t like and i don’t care at what stake.
Nothing is more important than my well-being. I don’t put up with idle gossip, trouble, and people who are a waste of my time. And those are the few things that contribute to me having a Peace Of Mind.
Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 4:43 PM PST
I think about her almost every day. How she always did things in her own special way. I miss her. I want to kiss her. I look forward to the day when i will reminisce with her.
We are still together as she comes back to me during times that i dream. And we continue to be forever communicating our messages throughout every scene.
We share a bond that no one can break and we have a love that no one can take. Indeed there was no mistake how fate gave then made us powerful enough that we could relate. We were made for one another. We worked so well for each other.
There is an absolute connection. A source of my protection. And a day never goes by where i don’t understand why. She is one of my angels up in the heavens, one of the loyal spirits around me guarding my life.
I recognized what she was while she was down here on this earth and would be a fool now not to know how much more she is really worth.
Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:54 AM EST
There have been a few guys who liked and were genuinely attracted to me and i guess that is normal but they didn’t really know me personally. The person who i am inside. Guys have tried to get to know me but i wasn’t interested in getting to know them. And then there have been those guys who were after me just to get into my panties i just kept my distance from them. I could read the lust in their filthy eyes.
Of course, i’ve heard of people falling in love with one another but i never really believed in it. I’m thirty years old and still wonder if it’s a real thing. I always thought that it was a bunch of television crap. Nevertheless, my common sense tells me that there is way too many people in the world for the concept of falling in love to not actually exist.
Do most people know the difference between infatuation, attraction, and true love though? I know people who’ve been married for years. Something is keeping them together. Everybody knows that there are people who wed only to take advantage of the other person. They marry for money or status. Some even get married out of loneliness. The need for companionship.
I personally cannot vouch for any particular couple who beats the odds when it comes down to the deep, meaningful, long lasting relationships society builds up. I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist or that it’s not out there i’ve just never come across too many who were able to achieve that standard. Anybody can say they have a great relationship when just the opposite is happening behind closed doors. Talk is cheap. Times are hard and life is sometimes a struggle. A lot of people like their freedom and space, i know i do!
Any type of relationship requires a certain amount of patience and selflessness whether it is family or friendship. And spending too much time together can get on the nerves, especially if you are not compatible. It’s good to just take things slow most people are out for themselves.
Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:32 AM EST
I’ve always been shown love. Love made me a secure person. Love made me a very strong person. Love showed me how to love but everyone is not worthy of my love. So i don’t just love anybody.
As a child, i was loved so much that i was spoiled by my mother. And we have a great relationship to this day. We can share almost anything. I’m a grown woman now, however, i’m still my mother’s baby, her one an only, and she reverently continues to show me all of her undying love.
People who aren’t related to me have shown me genuine affection by believing in me, encouraging me, and being generous to me.
I’ve experience the mother and daughter love, and the love for a pet, but never have i experienced the love for a man. I’ve never even loved a friend because i haven’t met too many that i could call a true one.
I am a very good judge of character so i’d know who to pick and choose as my good friends. Then i could honestly make sure to also be a good friend to them all. I’m very particular and i’m not an emotional person so i myself don’t demonstrate much affection.
Most people consider me to be cold. Though i am very loving to those i truly care about. I don’t waste any more time with people that i call associates. I’m a loner anyway so it really doesn’t matter.
My love is balanced. When i love someone or something it is not irrational. I don’t have any love for the way the world is i just like what some of the world has to offer. And to me, it’s not much if you’re not into it.
Nevertheless, love is what keeps me going.