Category Archives: special

Age

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Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 4:42 AM EDT

“Respect your elders”. “Wisdom comes with age”. I’ve heard people speak those words throughout my lifetime as i am sure others have. However, i strongly disagree with those words.

Just because someone is a little bit or a lot older than one does not mean that they automatically deserve their respect. And wisdom does come with age for some but definitely not for all. I learned that fact early on as a very young child. And it is a fact!

Grown ups had said and done things to me that wasn’t correct and right.

If i knew a little more about something than they did they didn’t want to hear it because in their mind they believed that they were the adult who knew better when in actuality they didn’t know what they were talking about. Often when a particular child, teen, or even young adult is knowledgeable and goes to express an idea or solution that someone older may not see, realize, or grasp the first thing that older person may be quick to verbalize is that the younger person is being “fresh” or “think that he or she knows everything”. And then continues on with “they’ll learn”.

They are very quick to generalize as most people do. It is not fair but it sometimes happens.

It’s been said and i’ve been told all throughout my life by those who have been able to recognize that i am too smart and that i know a lot for my age and that they were nowhere near the level that i’m on when they were at my age. There are decent rational adults out there who don’t have any problem acknowledging and accepting that people younger than them can know just as much as they do and even a little more.

You see, i have always carried a portion of wisdom. I have a good share of it. And i am very wise in ways that a lot of people don’t appreciate. There have been some who’ve misjudged me, accused me of things that i was not guilty of, lied on me, underestimated me, and treated me unfairly. There have been plenty of older peoples asses that i have wanted to kick. A lot of them make me so sick about how they think or thought that they were enlightening me by telling me something while all of the time i was way ahead of them.

Of course, there are those who are informative and beneficial to learn a little or a lot from. They are very helpful and they are the ones that i respect if they genuinely have understanding.

There have been older people who have tried to hurt me, test me, run games on me and so on because they believed and thought that they were so much more experienced.

And you see, that goes back to them making generalizations. Everybody is not the same but you can’t tell them that. So many of them have got it stored in their minds that they’ve been around and that they know and are able to read every type of person that they come across when they don’t know shit! They just think they do. And those are assholes that some of us are just going to run into at sometime or another. They are too ignorant to realize that it is not always necessarily age that makes you wiser but it is the insight and the “individual” experience. And just because one has the age does not mean that they have all of the experience.

A lot of people have gone through life living with the wrong information and mistaking one thing for another so when a younger person comes along knowing the answers he or she is sometimes considered as the one who is misguided, naive, or confused due to their own form of “misguidance”. And when some do come to a realization they are too embarrassed to admit to it.

There are plenty of younger people who indeed are naive, confused, and don’t know a whole lot about life and some of them are just stupid because their parents are stupid. But out here in the world there are older people who can learn from the young and the young who can learn from the old.

Our world is continually changing and while many things continue to change many of the things are going to remain the same.

I have a number of reasons why i don’t have respect for people just because they are older than me. Now that doesn’t mean that i go around disrespecting them. There is a difference between being courteous and having true respect for someone. I just do not underestimate anyone because they are younger than me and i do not overestimate someone simply because they are older. I go by the person within.

Nevertheless, i am aware that maturity also plays a part when it comes to certain people and their age.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/age/

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My Confessions

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Peace, Power, Purity, And Protection

Significance Of The Caul/A Caulbearer Who Cannot Be Defeated

January 28th, 2012

Everyone makes mistakes and indeed this was a big one! Everything in my post is the truth except for what I mentioned about God.

I wrote this post about fives years ago and now I can come out with the total truth that I could not say at the time. I don’t really feel that I did anything wrong. I don’t really believe that the only true protection comes from The God Of The Bible.

My actions did not cause me to be open for any attack because I don’t believe in or follow that God of the bible’s sick “will” especially that garbage about a man and a woman becoming one flesh. I will always be whole and complete and no one flesh with nobody.

I truly feel that God was responsible for allowing those sick witchcraft experiences because I never cared for him and belonged to him, and I thank my lucky stars because I don’t ever want to be one of his children.

I have true supervision and protection from my Ancestors and Orishas like I had all through out my life I just had to get reconnected and reacquainted since I was attacked by witchcraft at such an early age ( ever since I was seven ).

Even though I didn’t truly from my heart mean what I said in this post regarding “God” I really regret having done so because I would never intentionally want to give him any type of glory or justification whatsoever!

And I know damn well that my beautiful soul will never enter a place of hell even if I ever did get an abortion. “I’ve seen where i’m going”, God Of The Bible has no claims over me. He does not apply to me or my life. And I am so glad that I am at a place in my life where I can acknowledge it and back it up fiercely. And I don’t give a damn what anyone who is blinded by him has to say about it!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:17 PM EDT

I don’t know why I’m calling this post my confessions. I’ve never had anything to hide. What i really mean by confessing is just acknowledging more in depth how i feel about particular things regarding myself.

I am a female. A woman. And I’m very glad to be. I am strong-minded, strong-willed, determined, stubborn, confident, opinionated, outspoken and a few other things. When i was a little girl i loved to have fun just like most children and i was very creative.

A lot of children have an idea of what they want to be when they become an adult. I knew by the age of ten that i would write and that is the age that i began writing the short stories that i use to. I also knew that when i grew up that i never wanted to marry. I am thirty-one years old now and have never had a boyfriend.

So i really did know what i did and did not want early on. I also knew that one day when i was ready i would want to have two children, preferably two female children. Two daughters. My two little girls. The only problem was how would i get them? I didn’t want no man on top of me.

I thought going to a sperm bank would cost too much money for me at the time since there was no guarantee that conception would occur during the first insemination. I’ve heard of women spending up to six thousands of dollars after numerous tries before actual conception occurred through being artificially inseminated by a doctor.

So if i really wanted to have a child I’d have to do what i had to do and that would mean lying down with a man that i didn’t want. It wouldn’t have been a problem. A whole lot of men were interested in me during my younger years. They just didn’t understand why i didn’t want to be bothered since most young women are man-crazy and are heavily into a man.

I was just the opposite. A few of the reasons i paid my admirers no attention was because the majority of them were nothing, nobodies. They were in my opinion unattractive and definitely undesirable as far as their physical appearance and level of mentality. What turned me off the most, though, is them approaching me like automatically without them even knowing me, that i was suppose to have an inclination for males.

They made a general assumption about me that was definitely not true. I am Asexual and very proud of it. I’ve never ever had any emotional or physical desire for a man. When guys had crushes on me and expressed their feelings in their own ways it disgusted me where others would think that it was cute or normal. And i am very sure most consider having a crush on someone then acting on it normal.

I felt if a guy was attracted to me and wanted to be with me he should have kept it to himself because he didn’t stand a chance with me. Then i began to think about it a little bit, and thought about using a man’s feelings for me to my advantage. You know when someone is into you and you are not into them then you have the upper hand.

Some of the guys who were interested in me had heard that i was a virgin and probably thought ( in their mind if they were to ever get the chance) by having sex with me they could turn me out or that i would change and become attached to them and fall all over them then a man would have some significance to me. Boy did they have me figured out wrong! Some of those male egos and ignorance’s need to go! There is a whole lot that some men really need to learn.

Yes, i was a virgin as far as never ever having intercourse with a man. A male penis had never penetrated my vagina but i had already experienced sexual pleasure without the aid of a man.

You see, i had discovered my clitoris years beforehand. It is a very sensitive area connected to nerves inside the body that with the educated touch of a finger ( i learned naturally on my own ) there are very nice sensations and climaxes to experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with self experimentation, getting to know and love your own self sexually before letting someone else take control. But when a man is inside of you he is not the one really in control of giving you your pleasure.

It is all up to you and your mind whether or not your body will allow his penis to ignite those sensations. You have to already have an attraction or desire for a man in order to feel any pleasure from him. This particular subject is not embarrassing and it should not be. It is important.

When i was a little girl i curiously took a mirror to see what my vagina looked like. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! None of these things mean that you are being a bad girl or fresh. It is being smart and knowledgeable.

During the very first and only time period i tried to get pregnant by attempting sexual intercourse i felt absolutely nothing, no kind of sensation or pleasure whatsoever from the penis i endured because i had no desire and emotion to be with any male. On the other hand though, i could go and stimulate my clitoris on my own while i was alone and feel all the pleasure in the world because my mind was happily accepting that i was the one who was causing sensations received by myself.

My mind and body was and is not receptive to the thought of being touched by a man since nothing about a man arouses me. My body doesn’t want something pounding inside and out, that is just plain stupid! During clitoral stimulation, there is no penetration. Only i can arouse myself as i am in love with myself. And i haven’t ever been with any other man since. That was years ago. And for the future there won’t be another one.

My vagina is strictly off limits as it has always been. There is no man anywhere around me or in my neighborhood who can honestly say that they had me or will have me because now i have the money to go to a sperm bank if i really want to.

Even if i didn’t have the money i still would not resort to lying down with a man because that is not who i am and because to me it is so unnatural. My clitoris is natural. I was born with it. I know how to take care of myself. If i want a vaginal massage, i prefer myself.

When and if i eventually do get pregnant, like i mentioned before I’d prefer to have girls. My girls because i know they’d be very similar to me i have very strong genes. If i unfortunately get pregnant with a boy I’d be very pissed off and disappointed then I’d go seek an abortion. You see, there is no way in the world that i would want or have anything male growing up inside of me.

I know the way that i feel goes against God’s will just as fornication. God would prefer that i get married then have children and accept the children no matter what the sex is especially since I’m so spiritually blessed the way that i am.

However, i have my own will. And it goes against God’s. Now i live a very clean life as it is. I never went astray. I fornicated on only one occasion and that was done purely to make a baby and not out of any type of lust but i think the act itself left me open and vulnerable to the attack of evil spirits when my enemies worked their witchcraft.

Protection comes with God’s Holy Spirit and his spirit is not to be defiled by any spiritual uncleanliness. Now while witchcraft was unable to affect my strength, mind, actions and emotions it was able to affect my progress in life by interfering with my destiny.

So it wasn’t so much about my enemies having the ability to attack me it was that at the hands of my own actions i gave them the opportunity by disobeying God and defiling his Holy Spirit. If i had been married the act would’ve been clean.

Nevertheless, you know what? I still say even though i am spiritually restored now i don’t think that was fair. And life is not fair. I am a very good person and i don’t deny the power and works of the Lord but my heart is hardened against the way God set certain things.

The only real big sin that i was and am guilty of is rebellion. I still refuse to want to do it the Lord’s way by getting married to have a child and I’d still get an abortion or want to if i ever get pregnant with a male child. If i did get married I’d just be using the man for what i want. It just wouldn’t work out.

I lose patience in just two weeks of being around a man. And like i said before I’d never have any sexual dealings with a man as long as i live so if i lose God’s partial protection again by trying to conceive a child out of wedlock through going to a sperm bank and getting rid of a fetus because it turns out to be a boy then the Lord is just not right. My feelings will never change even if i risk spending an eternity burning in hell for it.

The All Seeing Truth Not Blinded By The Lies

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/my-confessions/

Special Wisdom

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 4:17 PM EDT

I’ve always been able to take large peeks into the future. And no, that at all does not make me a genius. But it does make me very aware of what i can expect to happen in my life and in the lives of certain others.

All of my years here on earth i’ve been criticized, misjudged, lied on, hated, and the object of much envy and jealousy among some just like a lot of others have.

One thing i know to count on though and that is i eventually come out on top regardless of the trials i have to sometimes go through or the peoples predictions of what me and my life will turn out to be.

There have been older people in their fifties who were beneath me and who had the nerve to talk down to me, telling me that because they were older than me that made them more knowledgeable and more experienced when it came to going through things. They were sheer fools when they spoke those words to me!

I, one of the people down here on earth who can tell them all about the life that they think they’ve lived and what they will live ahead, am experienced in a way they’ll never know and they need to be more respectful toward people who are able to stir up that type of power.

I feel i’ve been here before, and when i die i don’t want to come back again. I don’t think i know everything because i don’t, but i do know a lot and nothing in this world really excites or surprises me. I’m just making do until “Divine Spirit” uses me for whatever it is that he wants me to do, and brings me into whatever it is that is meant.

And i admit that while i kill time here, it gets boring going over the same shit with certain kinds of people that i already know the answers to, i’m not learning anything new through their actions and way of life as i watch them. And, maybe i just don’t care! I’d benefit more from those who have and seek foundation, we all learn and grow when we’re on that path.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/special-wisdom/

God

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 3:56 PM EDT

It is said that nobody is above God and that we are not suppose to ask “why?” Why things have to be the way they are, and why whatever else.

And i may cross the line when i say this but i feel that i do have the right to ask why because life isn’t fair and because i didn’t ask to come into this world. It is not doing me any great favor by me being here that i should go along with the way life is.

I know none of us are suppose to be “perfect” in God’s eyes and that none of us truly see things the way that he does because we are suppose to be incapable of comprehending his knowledge.

And me, being human, of course do not like all of the rules that he sets and i guess it’s because we’re all born into “so call” sin and are suppose to be sinners by nature.

I feel some things that God sees as a sin should not be. Nevertheless, it is also said that God gives us his laws to abide by not to make us unhappy but for our protection. Very few of his rules maybe i can accept with no problem, and there are the rest that i strongly disagree with.

To be even more honest though. I always thought the bible to be one of the sickest books that i’ve ever read. And as a spiritual person by birth and by nature i have never truly felt any connection with this “God” and have uncovered things about him and life ( things i have always speculated since childhood ) that i will not disclose.

Contrary to the bible and popular belief life (definitely my life in particular) is so much purer, happier, better, fulfilling and peaceful without him.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/god/

A Peace Of Mind

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 at 3:43 PM EDT

My spirit doesn’t take too well to negativity. And that goes for negative people as well as negative things. Even though i was able to survive many types of negativity that was set before me by demented individuals i totally despise having to be around it.

There is a particular feeling i’ve experienced on more than one occasion. It’s an intense feeling of natural pure ecstasy. A genuine exalted rapture. And no matter what may be going on around me at the time the mood cannot be spoiled.

I don’t know if there is a name for it but it definitely is spiritual and i wish that i could feel that way all of the time. Unfortunately, in reality nobody feels a great deep mystical emotional high everyday so maybe it’s just a temporary sign of what’s to come eventually.

In the meantime, i’ll settle for the little things that mean a lot to me and make me happy. And, that is being independent! I like to be alone, i like to do things on my own, and when i choose to be around a small number of people they are of genuinely good quality because i am very particular.

It may sound snobbish but my tolerance is very low. I was that way when i was younger-now it’s even worse. I can’t be bothered with what i don’t like and i don’t care at what stake.

Nothing is more important than my well-being. I don’t put up with idle gossip, trouble, and people who are a waste of my time. And those are the few things that contribute to me having a Peace Of Mind.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/a-peace-of-peace/

My Power/Ability

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Saturday, March 11, 2006 at 4:06 PM EST

When i was two and a half years of age my mother taught me to read. When i was three i learned to write. And, at the age of three is when i first began to take notice of my psychic powers. I didn’t exactly know what the abilities were i just knew whatever i saw, thought, or heard would end up happening not so long after.

I’d never spoke to anyone about it during that early age. What i was experiencing came natural as breathing. By the time i was seven i thought having visions, reading thoughts, and sensing things before they occurred was something that everybody had. I was very young, i didn’t know. But my mother knew about me. She told me all the time how gifted i was, she observed it in me early. I didn’t know what being gifted meant, though. My mother also has certain spiritual abilities.

I saw my first spirit at the age of three.

When i turned seven i was honored in the auditorium of my elementary school for being one of the most exceptional readers attending there. When i was ten i past tests that high school students couldn’t pass. My IQ was tested when i was fourteen and the results came out above average. And i have an outstanding comprehension. So anybody who would consider me crazy for the way that i think, feel, or behave about certain things would have to put a “handle on it”. They’d have to call me knowledgeably crazy!

In the year of 1982, my evil wicked great-grandmother took my mother and i to one of those Botanica stores. She had this Haitian man read my mother’s palm then had him dress up a candle for her to take home to burn. We didn’t live with my great-grandmother, we were visiting her in Manhattan at the time.

So when my mother brought the candle home to burn i had got a very bad feeling but i didn’t speak up about it. I was only seven. My mother would’ve listened to me. She never underestimated me because of my age. But that is one thing i regret and have hated about myself, sometimes not speaking up when i get the inkling that something is wrong. And, doing something when i knew better.

This has followed me to adulthood, however, i put a stop to it. It is said that some things are better left unsaid. I’ll say everything i feel should be said nowadays. I’ve always spoken my mind i just speak it a little more.

Anyway, after the candle burned for seven days negative things started to happen in our life. I noticed that something was trying to block me from succeeding in school, and when it couldn’t all of a sudden all of my classmates who use to like me turned against me. People harassed my mother in the streets trying to encourage her to have a nervous breakdown, then my teenage aunt got gang-raped.

My great-grandmother worked witchcraft on us to prevent us from succeeding in our life.

We struggled with “Brujeria” for a long while. My mother was and still is a very intelligent woman and so am i. My great-grandmother hates us for what we have and what we were able to achieve.

As i get older, my powers get even stronger.

Certain sick people see me as a threat so they joined in with my great-grandmother and one of my aunts to try to block my spiritual powers and to literally destroy me. I’m not going to get into all of the details as to what went on, however, i will let you know that Divine Spirit works in ways that are incredibly awesome!

Not everybody believes in witchcraft and not everybody believes in people having innate supernatural abilities and experiences.

They believe it is myth or mere delusion due to a mental illness.

I know the real deal.

I have a neighbor who’s mother was born with a veil and she inherited the power of seeing spirits. She’s eighty-six years of age now and has much experience with spiritual matters. She told my mother how people killed her sister by working witchcraft.

I feel sorry for the people who are in the dark about these things.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/my-power/

In Tune

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Monday, February 13, 2006 at 1:12 PM EST

I’ve always been different. Very different. I have my own way of thinking and my own way of doing things. I was born with a double veil and my psychic abilities are very intuitive. I’m very spiritually inclined.

I can foretell the future. I see and communicate with spirits. I can prevent bad incidents from happening. I know what’s going on around me at all times. I can be inside my house and know what’s taking place outside. I can sense things about people that other people can’t sense.

I can be standing right next to a person and pick up on what they’re about or what they have done. Extra Sensory Perception runs on both sides of my family and it’s a real thing. Some people don’t believe in things of this nature, they think people like me are crazy but we are not we’re just unique. We are special.

Some of my writings are dedicated to I, and to those alike who have special spiritual powers, who have had spiritual experiences, or who are just interested in the things that us spiritually gifted people go through and encounter.

I don’t reveal everything that i know because there are things that i hold sacred. But i do share what may be helpful to those who may need the insight. Good spirits guide and inspire me to send out certain messages.

http://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/in-tune/